WASHINGTON, D.C. — At a press conference held in a West Wing bathroom, a beaming Vice President JD Vance showed gathered reporters what a good job he did using the potty.
Vance, 41, gestured eagerly to the White House commode after hurriedly calling members of the press into the bathroom, insisting that, one by one, the reporters each take a glance at the fruits of his triumph.
“Look, look, I did it!” the Vice President was heard excitedly announcing to anyone in earshot. “Just like they taught me, in the big bowl!” The outburst was greeted with murmurs of unsure approval from the press corps and a weak smattering of applause.
Once Vance had been shown how to flush it all down by a helpful New York Times reporter, he took to the podium to answer questions about his accomplishment. “It’s important that Americans are confident in the capabilities of our leaders,” he said proudly. “Keeping them informed about our biggest successes is paramount.”
The press conference concluded with Vance animatedly describing seeing a fire truck that morning, and that it was red.