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BREAKING NEWS

ICE AGENT SCALPS BABY IN SELF-DEFENSE SUPREME COURT TO REVISIT GRAVITATIONAL THEORY GAY MAN PUBLICLY COMES OUT AS PRO HOCKEY PLAYER KLARNA INTRODUCES ‘BUY NOW PAY NOW’ PROGRAM DENTIST KIND OF A TERRIBLE LISTENER FOGHORN CONVENTION TO FEATURE FOGHORN DIETING MAN FOCUSED ON HITTING MACROPLASTICS

Parents Give Up Child for Adoption Citing “Bad Culture Fit”

News

Trump to Pardon Gurtholxuur, Ravager of Aeons

Politics

White House Claims it Lacks Authority to Bring J.D. Vance Back Inside

Politics

Turkey Pardoned by Trump Arrested for DUI

News

Trump to Oversee Demolition of East Wing of Nation

News

Gaslighters Convention Held Yesterday, You Missed It

Entertainment

Peter Thiel’s Egg Sac Ruptures, Releasing Hundreds Of Scuttling Tech Founders

Technology

New App Lets You Join It For $20 A Month

Technology
News

Hegseth: Iranian School May Have Been Harboring Iranian Schoolchildren

News

Offended Ghislaine Maxwell Demands Credit for Adults She Trafficked

News

Hegseth: Iranian School May Have Been Harboring Iranian Schoolchildren

WASHINGTON – Department of Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced Thursday that an Iranian school destroyed by the United States military may have been harboring Iranian schoolchildren.…

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News

Offended Ghislaine Maxwell Demands Credit for Adults She Trafficked

BRYAN, TX – Nearly four years into her 20-year prison sentence, child sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell demanded Tuesday that she also be given credit for the…

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News

Congress Votes to Release Naughty List

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The House of Representatives voted Thursday to force through a resolution that would compel the Department of Justice to publicly release the Naughty…

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Politics

JD Vance Proudly Shows Nation What He Did In Potty

WASHINGTON, D.C. — At a press conference held in a West Wing bathroom, a beaming Vice President JD Vance showed gathered reporters what a good job…

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News

Turkey Pardoned by Trump Arrested for DUI

RALEIGH, NC — Just days after a lavish ceremony at the White House, a turkey pardoned by President Donald Trump has been arrested in North Carolina…

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News

ICE Tasked With Rounding Up All the Brown Coins

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the wake of the discontinuation of the penny, the Department of Homeland Security announced Monday that ICE will soon begin rounding up…

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