White House Claims it Lacks Authority to Bring J.D. Vance Back Inside
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Calling the situation “out of our jurisdiction,” the Trump administration has claimed that it lacks the authority to bring J.D. Vance back inside.…
New App Lets You Join It For $20 A Month
SEATTLE — Heralded as a bold and innovative step in software development, a new app from Amazon will allow users to sign up to use it…
Gaslighters Convention Held Yesterday, You Missed It
LIKE RIGHT DOWN THE STREET — The 4th Annual American Gaslighters Convention was held yesterday and everyone was there but you, according to reports from all…
ICE Agent Does It For the Love Of the Game
LOS ANGELES – Speaking amid a growing wave of violent incursions into civilian businesses and gathering places, ICE agent Connor Johnson told reporters Friday that he…
Trump to Pardon Gurtholxuur, Ravager of Aeons
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced on Thursday via TruthSocial his intention to grant pardon to extraplanar being Gurtholxuur, Ravager of Aeons, calling it “long-overdue…